I hold myself differently because my body knew it was time
Noticing my body wants to be a different shape.
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More and more now, when I feel uncomfortable emotionally, irritated mostly, when I open my chest, raise my chin, open my neck, roll my shoulders back, stretch my spine tall, increasing the space between my vertebrae, I feel better. My body is craving this new shape.
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Someone I dated recently told me I walked like a man - and I didn't always. Walk "like a man," that is. And I think what he really meant, was walked like someone who owned their space and felt comfortable in their skin.
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It's so interesting and beautiful that as I make these deep changes, they refract in these odd ways. Like my body holding itself differently. And there's nothing I need to do consciously to make that happen. It bloomed with an indulgent claiming when it was time.
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All my inner wisdoms are connected. All I have inside me is wisdom. Said another way, there is nothing in me that isn't wise.
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There's a lot of talk in my circles about inner and outer alignment. About the energy you give off, about all the things you're saying both consciously and unconsciously, and if they match. If you smell like truth (which can smell acrid af honestly), or bullshit.
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I'm really loving this idea of everything going on inside you having coherence. It might not make sense to the world, and it might not make sense to the conscious you, but there is *only* wisdom inside. Even if the smell you're giving off is bullshit, there's some reason for that. It makes sense to you somehow.
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My favorite scent is a mix of skin pheromones and the funk of seaweed. I wear it every day, get compliments all the time. A mix of good and not so good smell. If I smell a little like bullshit, then let that fertilize something.
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If I smell like bullshit, let that be the smell of something wise, that is waiting to be noticed, waiting to be thanked.
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We all used to smell worse. We all used to shower less, perfume less. When did we stop remembering that there is wisdom in all the smells, not just the good ones?
