parenting activates our mars
Because parenting, by its very nature, erodes the boundaries and even the pith of the self, demands denying the needs of the self, and diverts our life force into another, anger is the inevitable response of Mars, the protector of self and life force.
I've never thought about parenting as a Mars issue before, but now it feels obvious.
Parent anger is very common and very real.
And ironically, the “better” a parent is, aka the more the parent sacrifices their self and their needs, the more anger there is. And because the parent desires to be such a good parent, the more guilt and shame and confusion and fear the anger brings, especially if anger has been an uncomfortable, unwelcome, or even alien feeling for the parent historically (prior to becoming a parent).
The more I think about it, the more it seems like anger is a seminal emotion in parent-child relationships. On both ends. The primal anger of the helpless child who inevitably doesn’t get a need met. The same primal type of anger we feel when it seems our “god” has forsaken us. And the anger of the parent who feels the threat to the self and the instinct of self preservation. No sense in pretending it isn’t there. Lots of sense in getting curious about how to hold it and work with it.
Sometimes I feel like the secret to everything lies in the anger that we don’t ever express fully.
It’s sticky. Astrology can be (was for me) very helpful in unwinding the (again, very normal and logical) Martian response and looking at it with curiosity and objectivity and acceptance. Profoundly grateful to have access to this resource. Hopeful and excited to share it with those who would feel the same relief and support as I did and very much do, on a daily basis.
And beyond astrology is the dimension of lived experience - to show up daily in life, to be curious and committed. The chart is very theoretical in a lot of ways, the work of integration and experimentation is in the mundane wending through the waking days, and the banality of moments.
Parenting is a paradox of self and other.
