an expression of being at odds, an evolution into integration re: parenting

there's a way in which our humanity fundamentally inhibits our parenting.

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the more we want to be ourselves, unfolding as an entity, the less we are available for self-denial and self-sacrifice.

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and the more we surrender to the totality of nurturing, the easier it is, and yet the more of our space it takes.

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one of the hardest parenting paradoxes for me is this dance between centering myself and centering my littles.

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and as I write that, maybe the solution is to decentralize, and make things rhizomatic, to challenge the concept of center.

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there are answers here, I know. But they require such bravery, such imagination, and such audacity, that I'm still larval when it comes to them.

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Believing in the magic of space: internal space, liminal space, and capacity as something dynamic

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Update: I’ve been doing a lot of work around my parenting, and it turns out the solution (or part of the solution) is to integrate the not-mother Self with the mother Self, instead of keeping them compartmentalized. They don’t need to take turns. Through some alchemical magic, they can become the same thing, a togetherness.

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When the container gets big enough, they can touch and not annihilate each other. It turns out. Not everyone has a knowing about the mother Self annihilating the not-mother Self. But I did. And that informed this new solution of integration.