random musings part 12

Things that accelerate change: travel, love, crisis.

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I’m willing to be wrong about what I think love is. I’m willing to experiment with what I think love is. I’m willing to be confused about what I think love is.

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Hot take: you can tell the universe, no, thank you.*

*context: thinking about dating, and getting more selective and picky. Noticing how the universe accepts my nos, and adjusts its algorithm for me.

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What I want to ask my lover: If I frighten myself, and I tell you about the way I was scary, will you be frightened of me too? please say no. please also don't downplay the magnitude of my monstrosity. See me monstrous, and love me anyway. See me monstrous, and see me gentle too.

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Algorithms are a form of censorship. And humans are the algorithm of the ecosystem. We censor the wild.

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the difference between faking it and making it is energy. faking it is sooooo much more energetically intensive. otherwise, same.

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The hardest shore to walk is the edge between myself and other. The tide here is mysterious, the waves here powerful, the dunes here shifting.

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You say divorce. I say emancipation.

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If you're asking my advice, I say: let it get EVEN MESSIER. And even more. And more. More still. If the caterpillar wasn't willing to get THE MOST MESSY it wouldn't ever become a butterfly. That's the goal - ontological goo.

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Emergence doesn’t just happen. It needs a certain set of circumstances. The mind is emergent. Whole humans are emergent.